True Tears
by Raven46
Summary: Cry your true tears...


Disclaimer: I don't own newies, but I do own my OC Raven *nods* yup I do!

She never in a million years dreamed her world would come crashing down so quickly. Everything seemed to be spinning out of control as she blinked her eyes, trying to get them to focus on something in the room. She curled her body into a tight ball upon the bed and hugged his pillow to her chest and soon the tiny, desolate tears began to spring forth from her eyes. Everything within the confining walls of the room seemed to remind her of him, of the one man she would never touch, taste, speak to or hear again. A wave of sorrow crashed over her, and her body began to shake with the harsh sobs of heartbroken grief. Slowly she began to drift into a tear-filled sleep. 

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The girl sat with one leg underneath her and the other dangling over the edge of the wooden dock, the tip of her big toe grazing the water gently and causing its own pattern in the river. She lifted her head gently and stared out at the horizon, never seeing it end. The light wind picked up and blew the dark auburn strands about her face gently, tickling her skin. 

The harsh sounds of worn shoes could be heard clanking in the distance as they approached her. The owner of the sounds raised a cigarette to his lips and took a light drag as he walked, he then tossed the cigarette into the river and it extinguished with a hissing sound. 

She smiled as she heard him crouch down behind her and felt him wrap his arms around her body. 

"Whatcha doin out heah?" He whispered deeply into her ear. 

"Waitin for you, what else would I be doin?" She lifted her damp toe from the water and placed in on the dock, turning around to face him. He gently cupped her soft face with his calloused hands and lightly kissed her lips. 

"Your gonna catch your death." He somewhat scolded. 

"Spot are you actually concerned about me?" She smiled as she said the words. 

"Nah not really, it's just that it's four in the morning and you're out here in your little nighty." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Raven don't roll your eyes at me."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"I ain't tellin you what to do."

"You told me not to roll my eyes."

"So don't roll your eyes at me."

"Spot?"

"Yea?"

"Shut up." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, the moonlight illuminating the kissing couple and bouncing off them like a blue spotlight. 

"Where were you anyway?" She inquired her eyes still searching deep within his blue depths. 

"Business." He replied brushing off her question easily, while moving a stray piece of hair from her face. 

"Don't lie to me. I ain't that dumb."

"Well no shit Raven, if you was dumb would I still be witcha?"

"Stop avoidin my question, where were you?"

"I told you I had business to take care of alright? This don't concern you." He voice became harsh and slightly raised at her.

"Anything that has to do with you concerns me. In case you haven't noticed I ain't some cheap trick who's leavin after a week."

"I never said you were, but Ray you gotta keep your nose out of my leader business." She took her arms away from around his neck, and began to stand. He touched her finger tips with his own hand.

"Ray.."

"I ain't mad alright." She pulled her hand away from his, picked up her shoes, and stormed off down the dock. Spot let his hand fall to his side, and then slammed his fist onto the dock.

"Bullshit you ain't mad..." He sighed heavily and raked his fingers through his hair. He used to disappear on her in the middle of the night all the time. He was a cheater, and Raven put up with it for god knows what reason, but now he was disappearing for a different reason, a reason he couldn't share with her yet.

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Raven slowly blinked open her eyes as the sun traced its rays on her face, feeling instead like masculine fingertips brushing along her cheek, trying to comfort her tears. She shot up quickly in bed and scrambled to the other side, her eyes wide. She turned her head to where the suns rays had apparently slipped through the window but in fact it was still the dead of night. She raised her hand to her cheek and touched it, a warming chill ran through her body and she started breathing quickly. 

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"Close your eyes."

"Spot what the hell are you doin?"

"I said close your eyes, and don't say don't tell me what to do." Spot commanded softly. Raven laughed lightly and shook her head of course doing what he requested. Spot smirked and took her hand, he took from his pocket a small thin silver band. He smiled as he slipped it onto her finger. "Open." Raven opened her eyes and looked down at her hand.

"Spot, how did you? Where did you? You stole it didn't you?" Spot laughed.

"I didn't steal it, I bought it wit my own money for your information."

"Yea right, you probably borrowed some bits from Jack."

"I swear I didn't!" She chuckled and wrapped her arms around him.

"You swear?" Spot nodded.

"It's a promise ring, kinda like...I promise I won't fuck up no more and that I ain't goin nowheahs." 

"I like that promise." Raven tapped her lips to his.

"I like making promises , If I get kisses every time." Spot then kissed her. Raven laughed and hugged him tight. Spot's smile slowly disappeared from his face as he hugged her and buried his face in her hair. He stroked the silky locks with his fingertips and breathed in her sweet, seductive smell, never wanting to let her go.

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Raven felt a tracing along the band of her ring and a strong hand overlap her own, running fingers across the back of her hand and down her elegant fingers. She jerked her hand back quickly.

"Stop! Stop touching me! stop..." She covered her face with her hands and started to cry quietly to herself. 

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Spot hung his head over the bathroom sink breathing heavy and harsh, the wheezing vibrating loudly within the walls. He then started up a hacking cough, shaking his whole body, ripping apart his insides, the pain shooting through his chest and rising to his head. He felt like his body was swimming and stuck all at once as he coughed. At last one final cough brought up the spit of blood onto his fist and he wheezed again as he tried to catch his breath. He closed his eyes and grabbed hold of the sink to stabilize himself, trying to make everything stop spinning just for a moment. His moment of rest was short-lived as another round of piercing coughs came up from his chest, the blood spurting from his mouth and onto his palm.

"Spot?" Raven stepped slowly into the bathroom, and all she could here were these painful hacking coughs in the room.

"Go." Spot coughed again. "Away."

Immediately her breath caught in her throat and she continued faster into the room only to find him hunched over the sink almost in tears from the pain of the coughs. 

"I said, go away!" He turned to her as the coughing stopped, his lips reddened to an unnatural color caused by the repeated blood staining them. She stepped towards him cautiously and gently raised two fingers to his lips, tracing them across. Spot just looked at her, his eyes a sad light blue, he cupped her cheek with his hand.

"This is the business..."

"Yea..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't Ray."

"So you were just gonna die and not say nothin."

"It ain't like that!"

"Yea it is!" Spot pulled Raven to him and squeezed her in a tight hug. "Yea it is..."

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Her breathing had steadied now as she slept, even though her memory filled mind plagued her through every restless moment. She lay on her side her face weary with her tears. Tingles began shooting down her arm as a gentle touch slid from her shoulder to her wrist and soon two arms wrapped themselves around her body as nothing in the room changed. The sheets didn't rustle, nor her body move an inch. Soon the content feeling was gone as the touch slipped away slowly.

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Raven creaked open the door to Spot's room slowly so as not to wake him, for once, he was asleep peacefully. She just needed to check up on him.

Spot groaned and rolled over, blinking open his eyes, he half smiled at her. "Hey." He managed to croak out. Raven smiled at him. She got in bed next to him and rested her head against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her.

"What's wrong?" Spot looked down at her and asked.

"Nothin, I just wanted to spend time witcha that's all." Spot nodded and rested his head back against the pillow. The whole day he had been feeling worse, just declining in health by the minute. The truth was, he didn't want to be alone, and it was as if he sensed that his time was over. Raven wrapped her arm across his torso and hugged herself to him and in turn he wrapped his arm around her. She closed her eyes as she listened to his labored breathing, it began to slow, then come in gasps, then...it stopped. His hand slipped from his grip on her shoulder and collapsed against her side.

"Spot?" She sat up quickly and looked at his smooth face. "Spot!" All the pain and suffering had seemed to exit his body. "SPOT!" Raven grabbed his shoulders and began to shake him. Raven screamed as if trying to wake him and then hugged his lifeless body to her chest. "You can't die! You're fuckin Spot Conlon!" The tears trailed down her cheeks quickly in salty, clear streaks of pain. Her heart shattered within her chest as she held him and rocked back and forth. "Come back! Come back, you rotten bastard!" She dropped his body and folded over her knees as the grief began to make her physically sick, she started to choke on her own sobs, each of them penetrating deep within her heart. The unbelievable pain of it all, making it physically hurt to breathe. Raven grabbed a glass from the end table and chucked it at the wall screaming as it flew through the air. The crash and shattering of the glass mixing with that of her own heart.

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She jolted awake in tears instantly and looked around the room for signs of anyone, she turned her face to the door. Her eyes locked onto something or someone not quite standing there. The image of a young man blurry and shrouded in a pure white light, the light itself almost blinding her. Her tears stopped as the figure stepped into the room. At that moment all she could see were eyes of pure, outstanding and surreal blue. She closed her eyes and let two tears drop as the weightless hand touched her cheek and the fingertips traced her lips. He leaned in and tenderly placed a chilling kiss upon her lips. 

"I love you." He whispered to her, a ghostly whisper only spoken to her, there first "I love you" and their last. She slowly opened her eyes and the room was once again the pitch depressing black it had once been. Only the sense of pure warmth remained in the room, and the smell of cigarettes and Irish whiskey. From that day forward the scent nor the feeling ever left that room. 

The sun began to rise over the city of New York, softly the birds chirping could be heard outside. Traces of sunlight slipped within the room and Raven turned her eyes to the window. A small smile crept upon her face, making her eyes shine from the glistening tears.

"I love you too..."


End file.
